Dang, momma, git my shotgun!

A kid came up to our house today to sell magazines, and when I answered the door he looked at me for a second and then asked if my parents were home. No respect.

Same shit, different day, and for a while I considered posting my thoughts on the Danish cartoons, but instead I'm just going to catalog the greatest jokes I've heard so far about Cheney shooting a dude. Oh man. But first, a quick bit of commentary from yours truly...

Apparently people in the hunting community say that these sorts of things happen "fairly often" and its not really a newsworthy event. Ok....does that seem kind of wrong to anybody? guys are shooting eachother in the head fairly often, mundane or not....

In a potentially related story, America's hunting population continues to decline sharply. Some experts theorize that this reflects a shift in cultural values and urbanization throughout much of the country, but seriously, we just heard the hunters say they shoot eachother all the time. I think its natural selection.

*Edit*....you have to see the pic of whittington after he came out of the hospital. thats some nasty bruising! its like dawn of the dead. beware, slightly gruesome.

feel free to chime in if you've heard any good ones
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"But here is the sad part -- before the trip Donald Rumsfeld had denied the guy's request for body armor." -Letterman

"The weather back East has been atrocious. There was so much snow in Washington, D.C., Dick Cheney accidentally shot a fat guy thinking it was a polar bear." -Leno

"I'll be here all day with continuous coverage of how Vice President Dick Cheney shot a 78-year-old man in the face after he mistook him for a small bird." -Ed Helms, of The Daily Show

"Newsweek's Andy Borowitz reported that the federal government had issued a color-coded "Cheney Alert" to warn of future attacks. 'What we have learned, the hard way, is that Dick Cheney can attack without warning,' a faux Homeland Security boss Michael Chertoff declared."

"Dick Cheney and his buddies go down there hunting in Texas, and Dick Cheney guns down a guy. And they're hunting quail, and the quail disappeared. They vanished. And reports now that they're hiding in the mountainous area near Pakistan" - Letterman

"A mere five days after shooting a man in the face, Vice President Dick Cheney broke his silence about the incident by submitting to a no-holds-barred grilling at a public press conference. I'm just kidding. ... Actually, he sat down with Brit Hume on Fox News for not some much a grilling -- more of a teat suckle." -Jon Stewart

"If this story gets any bigger, pretty soon they're going to have to tell the president." - Letterman

"When the ambulance got there, out of force of habit they put Cheney on the stretcher. No, the other guy!" - Leno

"I'm surprised Dick Cheney loves to hunt so much. The five times the government tried to give him a gun, he got a deferment." - Leno

"Apparently the reason they didn't release the information right away is they said we had to get the facts right. That's never stopped them in the past." -Craig Ferguson

"He is a lawyer and he got shot in the face. But he's a lawyer, he can use his other face. He'll be all right." - Craig Ferguson