I found a journal I was sort of sporadically keeping about 4 years ago, and it contained these sage words:
I bet if we didnt have shoulders sticking out to protect the head, we'd catch our eyes on a lot more nails and stuff when we bumped into things.
True now as it was then.
I sometimes use a strap wrench to open foods. But my mom uses chopsticks to get stuff from the top shelf, so I figure its a wash in the end.
I bought a cheap little RC plane on a whim, just for kicks. Don't look at me like that. I didn't spend any real money, it was an impulse buy, I tell you! The instructions for charging the battery are 'plug it into the wall and when it starts to get hot, unplug it.' Every time I add to the risk of catastrophic fire, Dave gets another gray hair. Said plane doesn't have flaps or ailerons or a rudder or any of that fancy shit. Just 2 motors, one on each wing, and the controls allow you to go left, right, or forward. Just as well, because I have no idea how to fly a plane and I don't really have the patience to learn. We tried to launch this puppy from the deck of Peter's beach house toward the sea, but the wind caught it and about 2 seconds later it smashed into the house nextdoor. Both wings broke off, the body shattered, the battery went to lands beyond, it was awesome. It has since been repaired with packing tape and coffee stir-sticks.
Oscar the Grouch is probably grouchy because he lives in a trash can. Id be grumpy too if people kept opening up my roof and dumping garbage on me. Maybe he was a regular green fuzzy dude who fell on hard times and everybody dumps on him. Ooh, pun!
Ive never really seen the point to having a video iPod until now, and now I want to get one at the risk of wetting myself in public while watching this thing. How to kill a ninja is the greatest.
